My fiancé wants me to move into the home he shared with his ex-wife — and help with his mortgage

Thanks for responding. I do find it SO hard, and yes, I am really insecure about it. It may still ruin our relationship. They live over an hour away from me. I went there once over a year ago when she was supposed to be out, but she popped in I think she wanted to check me out!!! They used to get on OK but there relationship has deteriorated now.

CoParenting Community

When you’re in a relationship with someone, it’s rarely just with them. That can be a really incredible experience where you gain new friends and maybe even family, but it can also be tricky if there are people in that group who your partner has a complicated relationship with, like an ex. First of all, is it even possible for exes to be just friends? Well, I can tell you from personal experience that it absolutely is.

When we date someone new, we often forget to look at the whole of complicated details, from minor children living with him to ex-wives to.

It’s that horrid moment when you start to realize you’re in a relationship with a man that you love, but who may still have feelings his ex that he simply can’t seem to let go of. It’s said that, as women, we are gifted in our abilities to instinctively sense when something is wrong. If you’re honest with yourself, there may have been a few red flags in the beginning if you’ve fallen for a guy who’s not over his ex. Even smart women miss these signals because there are lots of reasons people may share the painful memories from past relationships that made them into who they are today.

But sometimes love drapes a cloth so dark over our eyes that we ignore even the most obvious warning signs. Imagine this: you get all dolled up and meet him for a romantic dinner and the moment your food arrives, he comments that his ex-girlfriend always ordered the very same item. You let that slide, but as the evening progresses, the references just keep increasing and when the night ends, you probably know more about her than you know about him.

This is surely a sign that she is always on his mind. If you continue dating him, you might see that he finds excuses to talk about her and casually slips her name into every conversation you have. Even if you forgive him for ruining dinner, talking about her while getting physically intimate is a deal breaker. There is nothing creepier than reminiscing about being of inside he while he is inside of you, or telling you about the “cool stuff” she taught him.

What It’s Like Dating When You’re Living — Yes, Living — With Your Ex

My boyfriend is divorced eight years and lives an hour from me. We have been together two years. His ex-wife ran out of money and having no one he let her move in with him and their son but she is not making a giant effort to help herself. She is there most of the time. She is also taking on line courses and needs his computer and internet and will take a year to get a degree so she can get a better job. I trust him, but he is very tenderhearted and she is telling him how much she loves him and relies on him and even tries to start an intimate relationship with kissing etc.

I’m 35 years old and have been dating a man 20 years older than me his ex-​wife after a failed marriage of 20 years that he currently still lives.

She genuinely wants him to find love, be happy, and live his best life. Traces of it are bound to remain. I like what we have and he makes me happy. Jealousy is a tired act. I admit it can be a lot of work sometimes. That always gets me back on track. It helps me understand him better. I know he sometimes has problems making emotional connections because the breakup did a huge number on him.

I know to not take it personally when this happens but love him through it regardless.

When You Feel Second to His Ex and Kids

My boyfriend still shares his cell phone family plan with his ex girl friend, who he split up with two years ago. They work together she can easily pay him. Additionally, I manage his bills and pay it online for him. After about a year I brought it up, but he said he felt bad that it would be more expensive for her, so he wanted to wait awhile. Several months later, same thing. He becomes very upset when I bring it up, refusing to talk about it.

If your guy talks about his ex with sadness and sorrow, as if he misses her, or if if ex is his ideal, and he secretly worships her, and nothing you do can live up to her? a man who slowly manipulates his wife into thinking she is crazy, doubting her I’m dating a man who is still in love with his ex and it’s driving me insane.

I came upon your site after searching for dating advice while feeling sad at work. I met a guy online and we hit it off really well. On our second date we spent 8 hours together just walking and have seen him consistently 2 or even 3 times a week for about 6 weeks. I asked him about this and it finally came out that he is living with his ex-girlfriend. Plus she was instrumental in him buying the apartment going to open houses when he could not, etc. I saw the apartment — they sleep in separate rooms.

However, her stuff is everywhere, as I imagined. Also, he has not told her about me and does not want me there when she is there. He claims that they do not have feelings for each other and hardly see each other since he works long daytime hours and she works nights. Should I continue dating him under the circumstances?

He Pays for His Ex Girlfriend’s Bills but Won’t Pay for Mine?

I rolled my eyes. It was a question I got every time I mentioned that I was currently living with my ex-boyfriend in a small, one-bedroom apartment. I was 24 years old and had recently relocated to Los Angeles for grad school. The spark was long gone.

When you date a guy with an ex-wife from his previous marriage, you’re “dating” his whole family. Sometimes your boyfriend’s ex-wife is lovely and sometimes.

It can be hard enough to maintain a good relationship with your children if there’s just a limited amount of time you can spend with them. It never feels like enough, and you worry that there might be a distance growing between you. That feeling can worsen if your ex gets a serious, long-term partner. The natural feeling is that the new man in her life might end up closer to your children than you are. How do you cope with the emotions and fear — because that’s exactly what it is — that your children might end up calling another man dad?

A lot depends on the bond you have with your children. If it’s strong and secure, you really have no need to worry. In their minds you will always be their father, even if someone else sees a lot more of them than you. Of course, it can be hard to remember and hold on to that, and the only thing that can make you feel better is time. The problem can be if your relationship with your children is tenuous.

The trick is not to feel it’s a competition between you and your ex’s new man. Remember, he needs to get to know the children and form his own relationship with them, which will take time. Ultimately, however much he’s around, there’s no way he can replace you.

The Date Who Still Lived With His Ex

Your partner’s ex. Yes, her. Even though it’s been a while since they broke up, you can still feel her presence haunting you. She’s in your bed, on your couch when you cuddle up watching Netflix, and even at your brunch dates.

I recently started dating a man who has three children and lives with his ex. I have been to the house and know they have separate rooms.

The fact that your boyfriend still gets along with his ex can be both good and bad. A man who is friendly with the woman who came before you may demonstrate he has the ability to forgive and forget. Perhaps it reveals his positive attitude toward life and love in general, and the fact that you don’t get upset when he sees his ex, reveals your trust in him. Was this helpful? Yes No I need help However, there are some situations when suspicion he comments on tons of her Facebook photos , progresses to a justified fear she is texting him at a.

You might have a ring on your finger, declarations of love and he may already be a fixture in your life, but you still have this nagging suspicion that he would rather be with her. It’s difficult to distinguish between those moments of paranoia that they might get back together, and disturbing intuition, punctuated by a bunch of red flags, that that tells you in his heart, you are his second choice. Bear in mind that he does not have to be actively seeing her, or even talking to her, to still be in love with her.

The signs that he’s not over her might be evident in his behavior toward her, his lifestyle choices, or in by the way he treats you.

Dear Therapist: I’m Dating a Divorced Man With Kids, and It’s Harder Than I Thought

He has so many great qualities I’ve always looked for in a partner generous, kind, dependable, smart, etc. We had an argument, and did. Your reaction to your boyfriend’s chatter about an. She also had a baby with someone else and told him that it was his. But i think its alright for partners to have friends of the opposite sex.

She is separating from her boyfriend and is asking and expecting from my boyfriend her ex to be there for her.

My guy is getting divorced. He still lives in the same house as his soon-to-be ex. It’s like relationship limbo when you’re dating a divorcing man. like you’re not just dealing with him, but you’re also contending with his ex-wife and his kids.

Dating a guy that still lives with his ex-wife can pose a series of unanswered questions and problems, no matter how much you love each other. I have this friend that recently reconnected with a guy from her past. They were really never in a real relationship as each of them were taken at the time; but they were at one point friends with benefits that just ended up staying really good friends throughout the years.

My friend trusts him completely. She says she knows that relationship has been over for a very long time. She presented him with a scenario of what would happen if she came to visit him.

Dating Advice For Women: Will A Guy Leave His Girlfriend For You? (Shocking Reality)